


The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing

by DisplacedWarrior



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, background Supportive Kara™, mentions Vasquez because she's awesome and doesn't get enough love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:08:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisplacedWarrior/pseuds/DisplacedWarrior
Summary: Post 2x06Lots of processing. Alex shows up at Maggie's door unannounced after nearly a month of not speaking.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I debated still posting this even though 2.07 aired but it was already written and I have enough fic that will never see the light of day so....
> 
> Also can I say I love this magical new world where I'm watching a damn fanfic every monday because I feel hashtag blessed *snorts*

The door slammed shut violently enough that Maggie could just make out the stomp on her ceiling from her upstairs neighbor in retaliation. Not that she gave a particular shit at the moment, she thought bitterly, kicking off her shoes and tossing her keys onto the side table near the entrance. She trudged the few steps to her kitchen, not caring when her headphones landed heavily on the island as she hoisted herself onto the counter.

Maggie barely had the energy to grab a glass and spent a few seconds longer than she cared to admit considering just drinking straight from the faucet. The moment passed and it had absolutely nothing to do with realizing it would be more effort in the long run. Nope not at all.

Water firmly in hand Maggie leaned back closing her eyes, not even flinching when her head landed heavily on the cabinet behind her. As her body rapidly cooled down her sports bra was beginning to stick uncomfortably to her skin but the shower seemed so very far away.

Everything ached. Even her hair hurt and she wasn’t entirely sure which was her bigger regret last night’s drinking or trying to run off her hangover only to push herself approximately 5 miles too far.

Especially considering neither action had really helped with the thoughts plaguing her mind. No, it wouldn’t be that simple to deal with the feelings given free reign now the distraction of work she’d buried herself in was gone. Her captain had unceremoniously kicked her out of the bullpen with strict orders not to return to work for at least a week. Apparently nearly a month of overtime made the higher-ups twitchy.

So while Maggie usually appreciated having a lazy Sunday off, this particular Sunday she was less than thrilled. Her empty apartment was mocking her and she wished not for the first time she worked hours normal enough to justify getting a dog.

The topic had come up a few times with Candice, whose 9-5 job actually granted her the time to properly care for a pet. Then she decided Maggie wasn’t worth being in a relationship with. And now, over a month’s distance to lick her wounds, Maggie could admit she was just glad they hadn’t taken that step. Like hell she’d be half of one of those ex-couples that had custody arrangements for an animal.

Although Candice saying she never wanted to see Maggie again hinted at giant mess potential and quite frankly Maggie was glad she didn’t have to deal with the added strain. Afterall you didn’t mess with a girl and her dog.

It was far from the worst break-up Maggie had endured but it had leveled her all the same. She was used to casual dating. Women tended to like the uniform but balk at the realities of seriously dating a cop. Opting to cut their losses after one too many missed dinners or calls from the hospital.

Somewhere along the way Maggie garnered a reputation as a serial dater. She was young and this wasn’t Blue Springs so she rolled with. And if she was getting a little older well she had already embraced the image, why fight it. Anyone worthwhile could surely see past the bravado.

After a a few good orgasms she could even ignore the lingering disappointment from the baby dyke she’d been sitting in her childhood room realizing she could have a wife instead of just being one.

When she met Candice she thought things could be different. The woman came from a military family, an army brat who understood that feeling of never quite fitting in. Their relationship was comfortable and Maggie thought maybe she’d finally met someone to settle down with.

It was why their break-up hit Maggie particularly hard. She had been completely blindsided. One minute things were fine, better than if you had asked Maggie, the next she was being called borderline sociopathic and kicked to the curb.

Candice's words had burrowed into Maggie’s skin, her track record only seeming to reinforce Candice's harsh words delivered as simple reasoning . Maggie knew she’d end up carrying the scars of this break-up for awhile yet. She was just grateful there was finally a light at the end of that particular tunnel that promised to not be a train.

The same could not be said for her attraction to a particular agent at the root of last night’s alcoholic over indulgence.

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t felt that spark the first time she and Alex met. The earth didn’t stop spinning and time didn’t stand still but there was a connection, an indefinable _something_ that drew her Alexandra Danvers.

The boundary lines were clear though. Alex was straight and she herself was in a relationship until suddenly neither of those things were true and Alex was looking at her like she held all the answers to life’s greatest questions.

So Maggie panicked. Her own heartbreak was too raw and Alex was stumbling around a minefield of self-discovery like a foal learning to walk. Maggie was the only lesbian she knew, it was a tale as old as time. One that didn’t have a happy ending.

The problem was of course that Maggie cared about Alex, alot more than she meant to truth be told. She just couldn’t handle Alex eventually looking at her with regret once the shine wore off.

So she’d let her down as gently as she could, desperate to keep Alex in her life. If she kept the relationship strictly platonic she wouldn’t be able to screw it up. It had backfired spectacularly.

Maggie tried to shake the sudden chill creeping over her that had nothing to do with the weather.

In fact the sun streamed in through the nearest window and while the warmer temperatures were a major factor in her ending up in National City, Maggie found herself suddenly missing the frigid cold of her hometown.

Getting lost in the bitter cold of endless swirling white would suit her mood far better than sweating in the balmy air of National City.

It wasn’t just an assumption either, that there would be snow in Nebraska simply because it was November. No she knew for a fact there was a solid few feet because the other day her sister had sent a picture of her nieces proudly beaming next to the snow family they built.

It made her miss home in way she so very rarely did.  
  
And without her permission, her thoughts had drifted to Alex meeting her family. Tactically sound snowball fights with her nieces, Alex talking about med school with her mom and motorcycle maintenance with her dad. Alex kicking her brother’s ass in snowboarding despite it being her first time because ‘it’s easier than surfing’. Building a full-scale fort only to push Alex into the wall and risk generating enough heat to melt it around them. Ending the day piled on the couch warm and dry in front of the fire roaring with hot chocolate and cookies and some cartoon movie her nieces insisted on.

But Alex wasn’t even speaking to her and trying to suppress that imagery with a literal 40 hour shift was the nail in the coffin that got Maggie sent home to be alone with the very thoughts she was trying to avoid.

Massaging her temples she finally gathered enough motivation to head to the shower. Of course, the universe decides to make a complete mockery of her plans. Maggie can’t keep her mouth from twisting into a scowl when a loud knocking erupts from her front door.

She has every intention of ignoring it. She’s not expecting company, she’s been banned from the NCPD and is persona non grata with the DEO. So really whatever it is can’t possibly be all that important except the knocking hasn’t stopped, if anything it’s gotten louder.

She shakes her head, grabbing her gun from the drawer as she makes her way over to open the door, too annoyed to bother checking who’s on the other side.

It’s only years of training that allows Maggie to keep from dropping her weapon in shock because there on her doorstep stands Alex Danvers herself. 

For all two seconds, before she’s shoving past Maggie loudly declaring, “This, this is entirely your fault!”

A part of Maggie’s brain is cataloging the sound of Alex’s footsteps and the thump presumably from dropping her purse but mostly she’s staring blankly at the spot where Alex had just been.

27 days, 14 hours and well Maggie drew the line at minutes that was derailing into the kind of obsessive weirdness that lead to rooms plastered with pictures and cork boards criss-crossed with string.  
  
Anyway, the point was it had been nearly a month of radio silence save the four texted words ‘I need space’ and now Alex was—

Maggie turned slowly still trying to figure out whether or not she was hallucinating. Blinking deliberately a few times did nothing, So no Alex was most definitely there, sprawled on her couch clad in black yoga pants and a worn Stanford shirt under an oversized red and black flannel.

Her hair looked like she’d been running her hand through it a bit more than usual and Maggie was struggling to focus on something other than the way her nose was crinkled, like why exactly Alex was here blaming her for _something_ and asking for—

“Please tell me you have alcohol here.”  
  
“Uhhhh” _Words, mija, use your words_ , and Maggie knew she was officially fucked if she was hearing her mother in her head.  
  
“It's 10 am?”

“Sawyer. Maggie. My little sister just decided that lesbian porn would be a good last ditch effort to get me out of this 'funk' that I am in.” Alex shuddered.

Maggie could only blink, mouth falling slightly open, not that there were any words forthcoming. Still in a bit of daze she made no other sign of moving until Alex’s high pitched voice snapped her out of it.

“10am. On a Sunday. Porn. MY _sister_. So excuse the hell out of me if I need something a little stronger than orange juice.”

Alex’s eyes were doing that thing where they widened, as if in disbelief of the words that had actually just come out of her mouth. Maggie made an effort to banish the little voice in her head that thought it was adorable.

Maggie cleared her throat, “Right, I think I've got some— just hang on.” Maggie had no idea what was going on but Alex was here and if she needed alcohol and an ear well Maggie could do that.

Because if Alex’s sudden appearance meant she’d had enough space, then they were friends. It was what Maggie said she wanted after all, to be friends and if she rummaged through her cabinets with a little more force than necessary it had nothing to do with the memory of Alex’s lips on hers.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Alex had removed her boots and was curling up in the corner of the couch. Sensing Alex had no intentions of going anywhere and needing time to try and corral her rampaging emotions. Maggie set about making hot chocolate.

She pointedly refused to acknowledge any influence of her previous daydreaming on beverage choice. Simply reasoning that the fullest bottle of alcohol she currently had was spiced rum which was excellent in hot chocolate. Seriously that was all.

When Maggie finally made her way back to the couch armed with two mugs, Alex eyed both her and the mug that had been handed to her suspiciously, “What is this?”

“It’s hot chocolate, Danvers.” Maggie rolled her eyes cutting her off before Alex could give voice to the clear protest in her eyes, “spiked liberally with rum.”

Alex sniffed the contents and seemingly satisfied went ahead and took a sip. Alex let out a quiet “hmmm” that emanated from the back of her throat after the first sip, visibly relaxing even as the sound had Maggie tensing to keep the heat in her gut from spreading any lower. 

Clutching her own mug tighter, Maggie desperately tried to get gain control of the situation instead of floundering in her own damn living room.

“So what exactly are you doing here?”

Alex was chewing on lip slightly as she set her mug down, “I owe you an apology.” Maggie tilted her head, not where she thought this conversation was going.

“You don’t—

“Sawyer, shut up. I really do. I’m just, I’m not sure where to start. There’s a lot...” Alex trailed off, rubbing her hands across the top of her thighs and Maggie hesitated not sure if she should be interjecting.

Eventually Alex leaned back and looked up at Maggie, “The thing is you were right….that night...you were right. I mean you were also wrong but not about— 

“I guess it really was all about timing, huh.” Alex’s smile is more than a bit self-deprecating as she kept her eyes trained on Maggie.

“Timing?” Maggie prompted

Alex just shakes her head, blowing out an unsteady breath, “I’m sorry that I kissed you.”

Alex’s voice surprisingly doesn’t crack but Maggie’s heart does just a little.

“I already told you, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“That’s not why I’m sorry.”

Alex needs to pause and look away because that head tilt coupled with Maggie’s sparkling eyes has the power to end her. When she starts talking again she has to force herself to look Maggie in the eye, doesn’t want her to doubt the sincerity of her words.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t ask if it was alright. It’s not an excuse but my sister told me to go get the girl and I was so high on her acceptance and it was like this crushing weight had been lifted and all those feelings from those movies that I never understood suddenly...suddenly they made sense. but I didn’t stop to consider—”

Alex looks so guilt-ridden that Maggie wants to reach over and hug her. Alex hadn’t done anything wrong and neither had she but they caused each other pain and Maggie hated that.

Alex forged ahead, “I didn’t consider whether the girl wanted to be got. And I am so sorry for that. I was. _So_ caught up in my own sexuality awakening identity crisis that our friendship got all one sided. And you were dealing with getting your heartbroken and I then, I just—I’m sorry that I complicated things and then disappeared when you could’ve used a friend. ”

Maggie spent nearly every waking moment since that kiss reminding herself that she did the right thing, the only thing. 

She took a second to curse their ill-fated timing once again because if there was one thing that Maggie Sawyer was certain of in that moment it was that somehow she had managed to fall head over heels for Alex Danvers. And if she had to wait years for the timing to be right she couldn’t even consider a different choice.

Maggie had to swallow the lump in her throat a few times before she could speak.

“It’s okay.” Alex raised both eyebrows and Maggie let out a watery chuckle. “No seriously, look I meant it about the kiss, I accept your apology about the consent aspect but I also still stand by what I said that you did nothing wrong. If anything I'm sorry if I unintentionally gave you mixed signals and that I pushed you away.”

Alex’s brow furrowed and Maggie discreetly sat on her hand to keep from smoothing her fingers gently across Alex’s face. Hurrying to gloss over her inadvertent oversharing Maggie continued. "I’d be lying if I said you not being around, didn’t hurt but only 'cause I missed you.” Maggie shrugged. “But you told me me you needed space, that’s different from disappearing and I really do understand, ya know.”

Maggie took a small risk and gently knocked their shoulders together. She couldn’t even bring herself to curse as her heart skipped a beat when Alex flashed her the first genuine smile she’d seen since before the kiss.

“I didn’t, understand that is.” Alex’s voice drew Maggie’s attention back.

“Huh?”

“That you needed space too, time to heal.” The head tilt made another appearance so Alex continued. “I..uh..this is gunna sound so stupid.”

Maggie just gave her an encouraging smile.

“I just wanted to help, you seemed so down after your breakup but I didn’t get it. I couldn’t have gotten it. I’d like to think maybe if I had I wouldn’t have pushed the way I did without even realizing it.”

“What are you talking about, Danvers?”

“When I left after the kiss I was shattered.” Alex held up a hand, “I’m not saying that to upset you I’m saying that because we weren’t even dating and I was a wreck. I hadn’t ever experienced that before.”

Maggie looked like she wanted to say something but Alex just shook her head silently asking to continue.

“You know, I dated a guy for almost two years in college. I was mostly just going through the motions. I did what I thought I was supposed to, acted the way I 'knew' a girl in a relationship should behave. Eventually, he broke up with me. Kara came up for the weekend with ice cream and movies, it was sweet but she kept waiting for me to fall apart. Thing is I just didn’t really care. I wasn’t looking forward to my mother’s remarks but Kara was waiting for me to go all first act Elle Woods. And I just...we ended up fighting, she thought I was trying to be strong for her. She only wanted to help. She didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let her be strong for me for once and ended up avoiding me.”

Alex paused picking up her mug again, it had cooled off some but not enough to prevent her drinking a bit. Maggie just watched the overwhelming urge to hug her returning.

“It turned out I was more upset about my sister not talking to me for a few days than the end of a year and half romantic relationship. After that, I just didn’t bother, dating just didn’t seem worth it.”

“I guess what I’m trying to say is despite going through break-ups, nursing Kara through her own, I really really didn’t get what you were going through in any quantifiable sense. I know when you said we were in really different places you were referring to me just realizing I was into girls but I can’t help but think part of it was also that it was just too soon for you.”

“Is that so?”

“Well am I wrong?”

“No, Danvers you’re not wrong.”

Maggie held her breath waiting to see what Alex intended to do with that information.

“So how are you doing?” Maggie didn’t think this woman would ever stop surprising her. She took a minute to consider Alex’s question, startled to realize the thought of talking to Alex about her feelings of all things didn’t fill her with a familiar sense of foreboding.

Maggie decided to take a chance reaching out for Alex’s hand not sure how the gesture would be taken. She didn’t expect Alex to intertwine their fingers. She stared a little longer at their joined hands than she’d care to admit.

“Better. It’ll take some time but now it’s more about what she said and could have been than what she actually was, ya know.”

Alex squeezed her hand gently “Good, I’m glad and I’m here for you if you ever wanna talk about it.”

Maggie was having some difficulty trying to wrap her mind around everything that was transpiring.

“I think that’d be good actually, maybe not today but at some point, yeah.” They had drifted closer during the conversation not close enough for any accidental contact but their hands rested easily between them as they fell into a comfortable silence.

Alex suddenly bounced a little and gave Maggie a dazzling grin, “Still wanna know why you’re wrong.”

Maggie figured she'd happily be wrong about everything from then on if Alex kept smiling like that.

“Sure Danvers, what am I wrong about.” Alex sobered a bit.

"It was never about you being something new and shiny.”

“Alex—

“No it’s okay, my friend Vasquez she dragged me out after, helped me see past the humiliation and get where you were coming from, why it was important for me to come to terms with who I was for myself before trying to dive into a relationship with you. The night I kissed you, I came out to Kara, yeah but I could only frame it in my feelings for you. I still couldn’t admit that I was a lesbian.”

Alex didn’t stumble over the word and her expression of genuine delight had Maggie’s breath catching in throat a little.

“When I left you in the bar I tried to dive headfirst back into the closet and I would have happily sealed it shut behind me If it hadn’t been for Kara..." 

“Does that have anything to do with why you stormed in here earlier?” Maggie asked, still keen on an explanation for Alex’s strange behavior when she arrived.

“And I was doing so well forgetting that.” Alex groaned as she picked up her mug again. 

“Wait so you were serious about—are we talking like The L Word or….?”

The deadpan look Alex leveled at her was the only answer to her question that Maggie received.  
  
“I’m still not really sure what got into her. I mean, this is a girl who honest to god squeaks everytime an on-call room gets used for anything other nap time when we watch Grey’s.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed a thought occurring to her, “ _Mon-El_ ” she hissed under her breath. it was so obvious.

“I know you spend a lot of time around aliens like Supergirl at work but not all of us have super-hearing.”

“Oh sorry yeah, a friend of ours, Mike he has the kind of personality that might have made it seem like a good idea especially since Vasquez has been pretty good at reeling in some of Kara’s more uh _enthusiastic_ shows of support.” Alex said, thinking about the intervention they’d needed to stage when Kara started insisting on making her cape rainbow.

Maggie thought she had done a pretty good job keeping her face neutral at the second mention of this Vasquez woman in as many minutes. Alex's smirk, however told a different story.

" Vasquez has been married to her wife for three years now, they both kind of took me under their wing.”

"I thought—

"You thought you were the only sapphically inclined woman I knew?”

In that moment Maggie was extremely grateful her complexion masked the worst of the blush she could feel hot on her cheeks. 

Alex sighed, “Do you remember what I said when I first came to talk to you, how I never liked being intimate?

Maggie’s eyes softened and she nodded waiting to see where Alex was going with this.

“ I let Vasquez and Kara set me up a few times and it was fine, I mean it was right in a way it never was with guys, ya know but it still wasn’t, there was still something off. Something missing.”

Alex took a deep breath, shifting her entire body to face Maggie’s.

“Look Maggie, I like you a lot and I don’t have feelings for you because you helped me realize I was gay. I realized I was gay because of my feelings for you which I know doesn’t sound like much of a distinction but it is because I also realized that gender was only part of it I’m not interested in being intimate emotionally or physically with anyone I don’t have feelings for.”

“Alex.”

“Can I just I finish?”

“Of course.”

“I’ve fallen for you, I don’t know how it happened so quickly but it did. You are an incredible person and I care about you. So if you want to just be friends because you aren’t attracted to me or aren’t ever interested in a relationship with me that’s fine. I can do friends but if it’s because you think I don’t know what I want or you’re scared or you need more time to process your break-up. I can wait or we—

“Alex.” Maggie’s voice was soft but firm as she derailed Alex’s ramble and when did she get that close.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Alex felt her eyes slipping closed even as she murmured out something in the affirmative. Maggie closed the distance, the kiss soft and sweet and full of promise.

Alex pulled away a bit dazed, “Would it bring back too many bad memories if I said wow?”

Maggie laughed, “Nah, I think we can reclaim it. So what’dya say, we try taking it slow?”

“I can do slow. How much kissing is there in slow?’ 

Maggie leaned in placing a soft kiss on the corner of Alex’s mouth, “That depends.”

Alex scooted over moving to duck under Maggie’s arm, “Is this okay?”  
Maggie wrapped her arm around Alex’s shoulder and pulled her closer, “Yea, it’s good.

Alex sighed contentedly, tilting her up to smile at Maggie. 

Then Alex’s smile disappeared as she bit her lip and Maggie’s heart seized in her chest at Alex’s suddenly stoic expression.

“So Sawyer, does this mean we’re cool?” 

Maggie couldn’t quite contain the snort that escaped.

“You’re kind of an asshole, Danvers.”

“Yeah, but you like it.”

Maggie sighed as Alex snuggled further into her side maybe this Sunday wasn’t so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> So I am not entirely sure how this happened except that an image popped up in my head of scared for life Alex storming unannounced into Maggie's apartment because supportive Kara™ the awkward Kryptonian puppy brought lesbian porn to movie night.  
> It was too funny an image if a bit OOC but the fic already started to write itself so I went with it. 
> 
> The rest of it was mostly me trying to process my feelings about the kiss/rejection because while Magie totally right about them being in different places.( I know she was explicitly talking about the gay thing but her breakup 100% is a contributing factor to her putting on the brakes.) I kept thinking about the fact that yeah Alex is new to the whole gay thing but she isn't literally a kid and also how if there's more to her not liking being intimate she could misconstrue Maggie's commentary on experiencing things for herself. Like if she is demi or ace in addition to being gay, how might she take this idea that she needs to go out and 'experience' things for herself translating into dating and hooking-up with other women. I didn't really get a chance to delve into that as much as I wanted to with this fic being mostly Maggie's pov but I might in the future. I don't know, but it was totally heartbreaking and so real to see her trying to back track into the closet when things didn't work out with Maggie which I think is more important of an issue.
> 
> Also I have a lot of feelings about overly-enthusiastic supportive Kara™ doing ridiculous awesome things like deciding she needs the rainbow cape and having Winn engineer bullet proof matching flannel for the gang, literally 'picking up' girls during a Supergirl rescue and dropping them at Alex ect. (there will be fic about that last one)
> 
> So yea hope this was semi- enjoyable despite the dozens of other amazing post 2.06 fic.


End file.
